Diving Deep into a few things;
Instead of trying to achieve some spiritual state, try to find the actual point where existence divides. Try to prove your current belief, that each thing is an existence of itself – that when that “thing” appears, a new and separate existence is born, and when that “thing” disappears, that separate existence dies, while other existences continue on. Try to prove that – at what point does existence come? Is it when the mother and father’s seed get together? There is the seed of the mother and the seed of the father – something already existing. Then they blend to form a new organism – but where is it a new existence?
Take a look at the tree – is it a new, separate existence? Where did existence begin with regard to the tree? Is it at the cellular level? At the molecular level? Maybe a new atom is indication of a new existence? But that atom is really quantum-level particles – strings, quarks, bosons, etc. Maybe it’s when a new string forms? What is a string? It’s how nothingness is currently behaving – how that no-thing-ness is vibrating or expressing. So where do we put a boundary around that essential nothingness from which all “things” come?
So where does existence start? The answer is that there is no answer, because existence does not start. What is real can never change. Existence expresses, apparently, and that expression is the world. Existence knows itself because of the “I AM”.
So you arrive back where you never left… You are already perfect, whole and complete. It is only the wanting to be something you are not which is suffering. Suffering is like a candle that burns in ignorance goes out instantly once that gust of wind called knowledge comes in.
Why do we hang on so tight to the idea of separate existences? That idea is the very root of all suffering, but it is also all we know. The idea that I am no-thing is, to this conceptual thinking, the scariest idea we could think of. What does it mean to be no-thing? If I say existence is no-thing AND every-“thing”, what does that mean to you? What it’s NOT, is a bunch of separate, independently-existing “things”…
This may sound spiritual and wise but it’s really simple and common sense. It doesn’t take a guru who spent a lifetime meditating in caves to realize this. In fact you’ve already stumbled upon it so many times. Only you discarded it as too simple – you discarded it as not generating some experience of blue lights or angels singing.
Existence or Being or Life or whatever you want to call THAT which IS – is formless. It is the essence. It is what every-“thing” boils down to. And THAT, whatever we want to call it, expresses – that expression is the tree and the singing bird and the passing cloud and the troubling thought and the aching knee and the beautiful sunset and the children dying of hunger. It is the wind and the sensation of dew on the grass under your feet on a cool morning. It is the appearance of a world and the idea that I am separate from that world. It is also the realization that I am not separate FROM that world.
WHAT you are is THAT. That Essence. That Being which ultimately expresses as every-“thing” – both the good and the bad, the up and the down, the right and the wrong. You are both peace and suffering. You are perfection and imperfection. Any “form” is an expression of WHAT you are.
And WHAT you are is presently here – aware of itself through that unique mechanism we call consciousness. In that mechanism, there is the natural and even necessary convention of ego, of identity, of separation. Duality is the necessary concept for this awareness to occur. But once we realize the falseness of it, it no longer binds. There is no longer any skin in the game. The game goes on but it’s no longer life and death. The clouds pass, thoughts come and go, and there is no longer the idea of loss. There is only the idea that all of these “things” are merely expressions of WHAT I am in essence. And the beautiful gift of consciousness allows that Life or Being or WHAT I am to know itself, in this unique and flawed experience.
And that’s perfectly ok. Because as the wave crashes to the shore, Ocean is not lost, Ocean is not diminished. As new waves form, Ocean continues to be the very essence of each new expression we call “Wave”.
Forget about spirituality – forget about having some amazing spiritual experience. Just be honest and look at the idea of existence, at the idea that existence could possibly be separate, the idea that each “thing” has it’s own, independent existence. And if you do this honestly, you’ll realize that every guru that ever lived was no smarter or wiser than you. They only stopped imagining – they gave up illusion and concept and blind belief long enough to see reality for what it really is.
You are THAT.
<3 I love you all very much KC Cain <3